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Discernment Therapy

Discernment counseling helps couples determine whether to stay together and improve the relationship, keep the status quo or divorce. Discernment is completed in a weekend or a series of appointments spanning a week or two. Couples gain clarity in a supportive and honest process that provides closure to ambivalence and uncertainty.

What is discernment 
therapy?

Discernment counseling is a structured process for couples in which one, or both, is considering  divorce.  10-15 hours of sessions, spread over two days, helps couples figure out if they are going to stay together and try to make it work- or not. Discernment counseling allows couples to make a well-informed decision about the future of their relationship.

In person, In your home, In one weekend. 

 

Ambivalence is wildly painful and yet especially difficult to stop. Some relationship counselors ask couples to simply commit in order to do counseling, “In or out?” But it isn’t that easy.

 

Couples counseling is expensive, time consuming and sometimes a big waste.  Research shows that discernment counseling helps couples with both couples counseling and divorce.  It helps those who separate have more cooperative divorce and co-parenting agreements.   And it helps couples who choose couples counseling to have better, more efficient therapy. 

 

I have found discernment therapy is best done in a weekend in the couple's home but it can also be done multiple sessions over a couple of weeks.

 

Couples decide if they will commit to couples therapy (and this will be with a different therapist than me) or if they will begin the process of separation.  

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I don't know more about your marriage than you do, but I will be honest about the range of possibilities and likelihoods. 

 

Marriages can be stressed by many issues, such as: sexuality, finances, addictions, parenting, betrayals, resentments and shifting world views or values. My extensive experience working with couples coupled with a thorough assessment provides couples with the information needed to make an informed choice. There is little benefit to years of couples counseling for a relationship that isn’t going to be one you would choose.  

 

I don’t tell you what to do, but I do tell you what it would take.  20 years of experience means I have the wisdom to know the difference between what has to be accepted and what can change.

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